Well, I just finished the first The Legend of Zelda game originally for the NES and decided to quit after beating the first dungeon of the second quest because I need to go to bed at some point. Still, that game's fucking great. The replay factor still holds up to this day.

Anyway, Thanksgiving was good. I made and ate a shitload of food and had a good time with my family. Yup, not much else to say about that... it was just a good time. I love this holiday.

Anyway, that brings us to now. Today I saw a friend of mine who was home for the holiday. This kid's a Michigan theater grad who now lives in New York so he's pretty into the theater scene. Alright, really into the theater scene. While I was over at his place, he played some excerpts from the musical Avenue Q for me (in addition to his in progress Martha Stuart centered musical which was really funny, but I won't really get into that). So normally I'm not a huge musical fan. I enjoy certain ones: Phantom, Tommy, I actually really enjoyed Moulin Rouge, South Park: Bigger,Longer and Uncut, etc. Oh, I almost forgot, the film version of Singing in the Rain is the fucking bomb.

So this afternoon I had listened to parts of the Avenue Q soundtrack, now I own it. This is funny as hell. I mean I think if I play it for a few people they might enjoy at least a quarter of it, and these guys hate musicals. But really, how can you go wrong with a musical parody of sesame street (complete with puppets, including a version of Bert and Ernie where the Burt character is gay and has a crush on the straight Ernie character), about not knowing what to do after college and how much life sucks, containing songs like Everyone's A Little Bit Racist, The Internet Is For Porn, What Do You Do with a B.A. in English? and Schadenfreude (happiness at the misfortune of others). And, to top it all off, Gary Coleman, of Different Strokes fame, is the neighborhood super (of course, Gary is played by a short black woman). So now all that's left for me is to hopefully see the show at some point in my life because I hear it's a good time.

So that's it, that was my music purchase for the day. Oh, I also did break my vow to not go hit the stores today (I hate people), but it really wasn't bad later in the day today. Apparently, the psychos (read:soccer moms) had gotten their booty and left. Oh yeah, I also picked up What's Important To Pathetic Losers - Someday's Dreamers so I was pretty happy about that too. Overall, another good day. Sorry about being all upbeat recently, I know that it's probably annoying at times so I'll try to knock it off and rant about shit that pisses me off more (______ knows there's enough of it). But remember these words of advice: "In volatile market, only stable investment is porn!"

In spell checking my last post, I ran into the following question. How do you take the word palacial and get a suggested replacement of blackly?

So, it's 5-am and I can't sleep, therefore, I'm going to 'blog. Ok, actually I'm going to 'blog and read Fe as lo and behold, it's been updated (I knew it would be after finding out about the whole house/cat/broadband fiasco). So it's probably bad that I'm up at this hour, being that I have to be up at nine to stuff the bird and get it into the oven (not to mention wrapping it in it's sheath of bacon). I love stuffing the bird. Ok, I love eating the stuffing that I've stuffed the bird with. My wife used to stuff the turkey with lemons, oranges, garlic and onions because she didn't think that she liked stuffing. Then I made her the real stuff... Kellog's. You see, my family has never been a Stove Top family (possibly too sweet for my tastes as I like the spice). The Kellog's has always been bar none the best stuffing out there if you ask me and nothing else will do for a feast of the magnitude of Thanksgiving. The problem is that it's hard to find because not many places carry it. Every year, without fail, we end up spending the week up until the day before looking around and trying to find the good stuff. Usually by the fifth or sixth store we start to panic (memories of the terrible year we had to buy something else). Eventually (sans the bad year) we find it and all is well, but it's the same every year. This was no different. We went to about a half-dozen supermarkets and couldn't find it. Then my mom suggested Grocery Warehouse, the low-rent Albertsons. Looking down the aisle I was about to give up when I saw it, The Magical Kellog's Stuffing Display. Thinking back on the week, wondering if we would have our beloved stuffing this year, I made a decision right then and there... I now have twelve bags in my pantry (it takes 3-4 to stuff a bird). At least next year I won't have to go through this.

So yeah, still can't sleep. It's simply the sheer excitement, not only because it's my favorite holiday, but because this has just been a damn good month in general. Cracker, BLM getting a job and moving into his phat palacial estate, getting curtains for our home and the downstairs finally coming together. Little stuff, I know, but it's made my month. Which leads me to the next big exciting reason this month is great Nintendo LameCube. You see, I was figuring on buying one for Christmas as they finally found a way to sucker me in with Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles. I was a little disappointed that the broke me so easily as I've been against most of Nintendo's crappy choices lately. So today, while on the stuffing hunt, we stopped by Best Buy after hitting JCP to look for a nice Thanksgiving tablecloth (go to Target, they have a better selection). Then I saw it, they had the LameCube packaged with a disc featuring the old NES Legend of Zelda games. It's fucking sad and I know it sounds blown out of proportion for a material possession but I could barely move I was so excited. My wife asked if I was ok and I told her that I would be if we went home with one of these. Of course, we bought it and since we got home I've gotten through level 8 on the first game and it's awesome. I mean, once again this sounds sad, but I never thought that I'd be playing these games via a console again. What a good fucking day.

So that's my post for now. I'm just having a great time right now with almost everything and yeah. What a good month.

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot: Happy Fuck Off Puritan Day!

So, I'm here at work now, with about an hour to go in my day and I have complete lack of motivation to do anything. I'm mere minutes away from vacation. Five days of no work. And to top it off, this is vacation for my personal favorite holiday... Thanksgiving. Oh, believe me, I know that most of the reasoning behind this holiday is self-congratulatory bullshit for my fellow Americans, but that doesn't mean the food isn't great.

First a comment on the self-congratulatory bullshit part. I just though of a joke courtesy of Greg Proops:

You know, in Britain they celebrate thanksgiving, they just have a different name for it. They call it "Fuck off, puritan!"

I love that joke simply for the truth in how unwelcome our ancestors (not necessarily genetic ancestors, but ancestors to all Americans nonetheless) were anywhere. Are anywhere. Man, fuck puritans. You realize how much better our society could be if we didn't still hold a lot of their ignorant bullshit. Fuck! I'd like to elaborate but that might be a really long post and I'm almost at the half-hour until vacation point. If someone reminds me in the future, I'll do my fuck puritans post in the future.

As for the food, I'm salivating just thinking about it. We've got a 16-lb turkey sitting in the refrigerator right now and I'm going to go out and buy the Kellogg's stuffing on the way home tonight (gotta' love 24-hour grocery stores) because, it's the only stuffing I really like. Hey, if anyone is looking for a suggestion on foods, a favorite of mine we got from my wife's uncle's boyfriend who attended culinary school. It'll clog an artery, but hot damn, is that good eatin'. What you do is fry up some bacon to start, then save the bacon grease and use it to fry up some onions and Italian flat beans (the large flat green beans). Then you drain off the grease and crumble the cooked bacon into the beans and onions. Yeah, eat it on a regular basis and you'll die tomorrow, but fuck is it good!

In the "the Prophet" household, bacon has always been a staple of the Thanksgiving meal. Especially when it comes to the turkey. Hear me out on this one. Season the outside of the turkey like you normally would (I like garlic, onion, salt, pepper, lemon and rosemary) then cover the turkey in a sheath of bacon. The whole fucking thing. Trust me on this one, the flavor it adds is amazing, and the bacon tastes amazing when the turkey's done.

Ok, if I keep going on this route, I may die of lust for the upcoming meal and that would be bad, because it's our first year having thanksgiving at our place. Oh, I'd also miss the meal if I died and that would be bad. I really have no concluding statement for this post so I will end with a little bow (George Carlin Reference).

So it has been demanded by the H-Dogg over at Fe that I must update my 'blog. The main problem with that is that I really have nothing to say at the moment. Not a goddamn thing hits me. I also am having some trouble figuring out the direction to go with this 'blog. I don't want to go with my rants on politics because, really, I tend to have the same types of opinions you find on Fe and it will just sound like some lame re-hash. Seriously, even when we disagree, we usually get into a debate and one of us realizes the other's opinion is more rational and we then come to the same conclusion. It's actually kind of sick. I guess that's to be expected when two guys have spent countless years sharing a brain. We used to say that we shared half a brain and each of us had our own half... but fuck that! We're so fucking brilliant that we have three between the two of us. And if you think that that's an arrogant statement, you can kiss my ass! It'd only be arrogant if it wasn't true. (Besides, I always follow the maxim, "Don't be humble, you're not that good." Except I am that good, I just don't want to be humble.)

So then the other direction I could go is doing reviews, of sorts. Normally, I'd be able to do music reviews pretty easily but I have this problem. You see about a year ago John, over at IHNL got me into a little thing called anime. Since that point my spending money has been funneled away from music. I even let my subscriptions to CMJ and Spin lapse. Ok, I was kind of looking for an excuse to let the Spin subscription lapse because... Spin sucks (hence, no link). I mean, there were signs, but the moment Pink showed up on the cover, I knew it was over.

So music is out because I just don't buy enough anymore. I could do anime reviews, but I think John has the anime covered way better than I ever could so that's out.

So yeah, I'm not sure where to go at this point.

Hey, you know what I just realized, I don't need a direction for this site. It's my goddamn site and I'll put whatever the hell I feel like writing on it. Fuck you people for making me think I needed a direction! You all can just suffer through my writings on random things on my mind and you can like it too!

Man, I feel a lot better now.

Ok, I know I keep taliking about the UCB and it's probably getting annoying but I wanted to share with you my new favorite dry humor joke:

Two men walk into a bar and one of them splits his head open... on it.

I don't know why, but I thought that was fucking hilarious.

Sorry about that. In the tradition of Explaining The Joke, "Red Wings" is what you call it when you go down on a girl having her period, then you come up and have the blood all around your mouth. I know that you really didn't want to know that, but it's my site title so... sorry.

Alright, here's a real post, not like the other posts tonight, which have simply been birthed by other posts. An acutally, honest to (insert diety or otherwise here) original post.

Over the weekend I picked up the Upright Citizen's Brigade Complete First Season DVD and all I have to say is man oh man, is those dogs hung! Seriously, If you only get one DVD this month (because, who the hell only buys one a year!?)... get the conclusion to Onegai Teacher because, honestly, you have to find out how it ends and if you don't get it right now you're just going to get more agrivated. But next month... Ok, next month get the conclusion to RahXephon because you have to see the end of this one too. Especially with all of the fucked up shit in the last two discs. Then... oh, fuck it, who the hell only buys one DVD a month anyway!? Sweet Fucking Christ People!!!

Ok, I've calmed down now. Seriously though, if you're a fan of sketch comedy, you should have this DVD. Oh man, there's no way I could go through all of my favorite segments in one post... ok, maybe I could, but I don't have that kind of time right now. Some of the highest highlights are (oh yeah, there are some spoilers, so don't read if you don't want to know):

- Little Donny, the boy with magnimus- obliviophallocytis... he has a cock that puts some horses to shame and doesn't realize it.
- The lost tapes of Einstein while formulating the theory of relativity, and trying to ease up on the chronic masturbation
- The Satanist Cyborg vs. the Christian Cyborg
- Andy Richter as Hansel in the story of how Hansel and Gretal really took care of that damned witch
- Ass Penneys
- The Hot Chicks Room
- I learned what "Red Wings" means (thank you for that lovely image Amy Poehler of Saturday Night Live)

That last bit is from one of the audio commentaries which definately make for some of the best features on this DVD (especially if you want to learn about how the president of Comedy Central, the company that now owns Viacom, is a major player in domestic heroine distribution). They also have a live Q & A which is mostly crap questions, but makes for a good time for the UCB to make shit up. I mean, there are a lot of really good parts (such as when one of Adair's characters fucks his computer through The Hole in the Sheet... "Because [he] can!") and I honestly can't mention them all here.

Seriously, I bought this on Friday and have already watched all of the episodes twice (and most of the commentaries twice as well). One of the most clever concepts with this show is the ability to wrap up most all of the sketches in each episode in one final climax. (I'm really looking forward to a later season episode where one of the characters had been transformed into a sandwich and is re-birthed into human existance in a massive orgy). I really don't know what else to say except that this is a great (and fairly cheap, you can find it elsewhere for a much lower price, I linked to this one because you get a free T-shirt) set which I know I will continue to watch over and over again. I'm also really looking forward to the future seasons (alas, there are only two more) which have some of my other favorites, such as Thunderball, "You Must Chug It!", and City Hall (which is kind of like the cover of that one Boston Album).

Ok after getting the link from Jay, I put in a section of links to people that have linked to me and that I like reading... (I'll add more in a little bit). The thing is, I have no clue how to check what blogs have linked to mine and now that I have this section, I don't want to slight anyone. Basically this post is simply to ask the H-Dogg how the hell to do this because he obviously knows. I hate that he's like Nostradamus and could predict that we would soon not be talking and just communicating via 'blog. Damn him! Oh yeah, this isn't to say that anyone else who knows how to do this is not invited to comment. In fact, that would be a welcome suprise.

So apparently Jay over at Marcellus Wallace's Bloody Gitch liked enough of my shit (what little of it there is to read so far) that he liked to my page today. First of all, I'd like to thank him for the mad props. I've been reading his stuff off and on since BLM first posted a link to his page and I really enjoy the content.

So now I feel like a hack, having not written anything of real merit (or an attempt at real merit) for the past... while. And now I have a link from someone I've enjoyed in the past (that I don't know personally). So I'm going to try to step it up (I'll probably fail) and write at least a little more each week. But let this be a lesson to all of you out there who think sleeping with someone famous can't get you any recognition from other sources. Granted, I was young and impressionable at the time, but he was very tender and caring... and he has a HUGE cock.

Hey look, I posted something!

So, as everyone can see, I've done fucking stellar at staying on the ball and updating this blog daily. Look at all the wonderful posts! Oh man, how great am I? I'm a damn loser who can't stick to a plan that's what I am. I would write the rest of what I was planning on writing about Cracker and that experience, but I'm really not inspired to at the moment. You know what, fuck you, if you want to know what it's like to hang out on the tour bus and backstage, help a band out yourself and get off my fucking back.

Sorry, maybe I'll write about Cracker some more later. Right now, I'd like to talk about something more pressing... The Wind. I hate the fucking wind. The wind is my arch nemesis.

The other day, I'm trying to sleep and it's daytime because I work nights most of the time. All of the sudden hear this beating against my window. I'm thinking that something's going to crash through and then I realize... it's not anything soilid beating against the window, it's just the wind itself. Found out later that it was blowing at over 80-mph. This kept me awake for 3 days straight so I was nothing but tired and this is what happens any time it gets windy. I mean, normally, I'm a heavy sleeper. If I can sleep through my wife getting up and getting ready for work, then leaving in the morning, I should be able to sleep through anything. Not the wind. No sir, that fucking beast keeps me up no matter what!

So I've been thinking about it lately and I'd do a decent amount of ill shit to get rid of the wind. I mean, I wouldn't hurt anyone I care about or anything like that, but I think I'd go pretty far. I mean, the other day I was thinking: You know, if Osama Bin Laden were able to stop the wind, I wouldn't think he's that bad a guy anymore. I might even consider electing him president. I imagine the conversation would go something like this:

Elijah the Prophet: You see Osama's running for president?

Sane Individual: Yeah man, that's fucked up! What does that bastard think he's doing? He organized the killing of thousands of innocent Americans and now he wants to be our leader? Fuck that. Fuck that!

ETP: I don't know, I'm considering voting for him.

SI: Are you fucking nuts? The man hates everything about our country. Women would be terribly oppressed under his rule, there would be no more free elections, there would be the threat of torture and death to everyone that opposes him, everyone would be forced to convert to Islam and worst of all, there would be no more access to pornography. No Porn!

ETP: Yeah, life would suck and the man is a murderer. But did you see what he did about the wind?

Ok, realistically, I wouldn't go that far, but I think I've made my point.

Cracker Weekend Part 1

So THAT was a good weekend. There were a few lame parts. On the way home Friday night my wife's car broke down and I had to have it towed to the dealership the next morning on practically no sleep. I also broke with my goal to update at least once a day... and so soon too. I would be disappointed with myself except for the fact that I was damn busy this weekend. Now I'd appreciate it if you got off my back about it.

So this weekend was mostly about Cracker who continues to play a rock show like none other. The thing is they're all about the music as opposed to the show. Now from time to time I do enjoy a band that concentrates on putting together a show (lots of audience participation and side antics to go with the music) a la They Might Be Giants or Barenaked Ladies (I say this full well knowing how badly Maroon sucked, although I haven't listened to the new disc yet). However, most of the time I appreciate a band that concentrates on the songs themselves more.

A truely good band of musicians can get the audience into the show by simply playing and that's what Cracker is able to do. It was a little difficult to get some of the audience members involved at these particular shows because some were there for Cowboy Mouth. Now, not all, but some of the Cowboy Mouth fans were unwilling to give Cracker a fair shake. Made my job of signing people up for the Cracker e-mail list that much harder. Most of the time at other shows I've worked I'll get a polite rejection when people don't want to sign up for the list. But not these fucking Cowboy Mouth fans. They were rude as hell: "Nope, here for Cowboy Mouth." Fuck you too asshole!

With Cracker being on first at these shows, they did win some converts that I was able to get between acts which was great. But the underlying probelem with the other fans of Cowboy Mouth (the jack-offs) became evident to me when the band went on stage. The cult atmosphere kind of shocked me. At one point someone summed it up with something to the effect of "I wonder if these guys all drink Kool-Aid after the show." (referring to the Jonestown Cult Massacre of the late 1970s... as I explain the joke, once again. Fuck!) They were commanding the audience to do all sorts of things: jump around like two-year olds and scream, hug and kiss your neighbor, etc. Look, I don't like most of the people I know, let alone this automaton drooling next to me, I'm not fucking touching that guy.

The oither thing that rubbed me wrong was that all of Cowboy Mouth's antics seemed too contrived and forced, almost scripted (this was affirmed while seeing them the second night when almost everything was repeated word for word to this audience). They also seem to serious about their carefree attitude. There's not much self-mockery. There are attempts such as when their frontman talks about how much of a dumbass he is on stage, but it feels like he's just saying it as he believes that he's a Golden God (Almost Famous reference... Fuck!). The best way I can describe Cowboy Mouth is that they're like Tenacious D if Tenacious D had none of the qualities that make Tenacious D Tenacious D. Another Cracker fan's opinion was that of, "This band is terrible! These guys fucking suck!"

Dammit, I just got a call about my wife's car so I have to go pick that up now. And all I've gotten to talk about is the bad aspects and the other band! Well, I guess I'll be back later with the story of how good my weekend was in my next post.

So I got the call from Frank this afternoon, looks like we are once again going to help collect e-mail addresses for the Cracker mailing list. Fucking sweet! I really like the fact that I get to help out in promoting my favorite band (the added bonus of getting into the show free and hanging out with them afterwards is nice too). It's also really cool when you get a phone call from the drummer and you already know him (kind of).

I'll never forget the first time I got my calling (not from that God dickhead, from Frank). I was working nights at the time and the call wakes me up.

I answer the phone: Hello?

Frank: Yeah, this is Frank from Cracker.

ETP: Oh hey, how's it going?

Frank: Did you just wake up!?

ETP: Well, I work nights.

Frank: Ok, I can understand that.

ETP: Yeah, I'm not just one of those shitless lay-abouts.

From there he asked me if I wanted to help and so on. He's a really down to earth guy and it was just really nice to be able to talk to someone I admire as a real person. Well, that's all I have time for now because I have to get there before doors. I assume I'll be ranting with Cracker filled goodness for the next few posts so look forward to it... woo-hoo.

Alright, so now I've got everything basic that I wanted to get up on this site: E-mail, Guestbook, Site Meter, Comments, Monkey Fucking a Coconut, etc. Ok, still need to find an MFC but that will have to wait as I've already wasted so much time already. So now my goal is to get in at least one decent post a day, that way this site won't go by the way side. So if anyone besides the standard crew begins to read this on a regular basis, and notices that I've gotten lazy about posting, tell me to wake my sorry-ass up and get back to work! (Not that I don't want "The Posse" to do this as well, but they will no matter what.)

Peace, love and recycle. (Does anyone remember what idiot used to say that. I'm a showboatin' lib, but goddamn that sounds like a bunch of pussy, hippy nonsense.)

So many of you, or the one or two people who have seen this, are probably wondering, " 'Elijah the Prophet,' what is with your clever but obscure title? Please enlighten me." (Ok, I know that this isn't true for the one or two who have been here because, let's face it, I know you and you either know the origin or I just explained it to you.) Well, my fine feathered friends, here's your explanation. For a few years on Comedy Central they ran a show called Dr. Katz: Professional Therapist (Wow, I just found that they sell copies of Dr. Katz on Amazon, it's VHS, but that's still cool. Did I know this already?) and in one episode, Dr. Katz tells a joke to a friend at which the friend does not laugh. As Dr. Katz begins to explain, his friend interrupts with "You can't do that, because if you try to explain the joke, life's just not worth living."

Well, I've been thinking about this a lot lately as I tend to find myself in these situations where jokes are not being understood. And it';s not because they're lame jokes, these are damn funny. Most recently, some friends and I went to see Kill Bill which was a great movie. I mean the sheer absurdity of the fight scenes throughout were mind boggling. It was hilarious. But alas, we were the only ones in the theater laughing (almost falling over at points). I don't know if everyone else has just lost their funnybone (that sounds retarded) or what happened. Is it the, "It's a Tarentino film and he does art house pictures, this must mean something" syndrome? WTF? I really felt the urge to just explain to everyone why this is a good movie because they obviously did not get it.

Another time this happened that sticks out in my head was a few years back at a Cracker show. By the way, Cracker is easily my favorite band and if you haven't seen them live, you should do that. They're in Boulder, CO tomorrow and Denver, CO on Saturday. Ok, enough promotion (for now). So I'm standing next to this unwashed, unshaven, slob of a guy, you know, the epitome of the youth of America. We're talking about the band, and he asks my favorite song. I reply with The Gentleman's Blues and he says he loves Euro-Trash Girl. The conversation from there:

Elijah the Prophet: That is a classic, and it's fucking funny!

Moron (I'm sure this had to be what his parents named him): What do you mean?

ETP: It's great, I love the line:
Sold my plasma in Amsterdam.
Spent it all in a night,
buying drinks at the Melk Weg
for a soldier in drag.

SFB (Shit for Brains): Why's that funny?

ETP: Can you imagine, selling blood to get money to go to the bars, hitting on a pretty girl all night then finding out she's not only a man, but a gun wielding one at that? Classic.

TSMITU (The Sharpest Man In The Universe): I don't think that's funny, I'd probably punch the guy.

That's when I moseyed away from the swill guzzling simian (Dick!).

So what does this mean? Well I guess I should have learned my lesson at the Cracker show. I mean, people are morons and if they don't get it, fuck them! But there's the other part of me that thinks society should be better than this. We should have a sense of humor! Not only that we should think about things as opposed to just taking things in and doing nothing with the information (humorous or otherwise). I don't know. I've found that when people are forced to think, they do come up with reasonable ideas. A lot of them just seem to need guidance.

And really, I'm not of the mind set that you have to think like me for your ideas to have merit. A prime example of this is that I enjoy listening to Doug Kellett. His conservative views are, for the most part, opposed to mine in most ways, but he shows that he has a thought process and he's smart, so I respect him and enjoy his show.

But back to my previous point, I think that this country just needs to be taught how to think (as opposed to what to believe, there is no thought process in belief). I don't know what more to say than that.

Well, this piece has certainly degenerated. But as long as people don't think about the world around them, in all senses, I guess that I'm doomed to be one of the ones explaining the joke... fuck!

Alright, so I'm here at work now. First think I did was ask John for help on editing my menu bar. In other words, I haven't been very productive tonight... yet. So the next thing to do is sit around and wait to see how long it takes Humbert Humbert, or whatever he's calling himself this week, over at Fuck Everything to find my site now that I've linked to him. That kid has mad motherfuckin' blogging skills and I expect him to find this place wit' da quickness. Who knows though, I happen to know that the Fe offices are in the process of a move so he might be packing and not find me for a couple of hours. We'll see.

So I got back from running and I feel pretty good. My shins hurt slightly, but not too bad as I try to keep to the dirt and grass while I'm running. This supposedly supplies the legs with more cushioning and is less hard on the joints. Yeah, you know that you care. So while I was out I wasn't really hit by inspiration to write about anything in particular. When I got back, I was right about the stink factor of my nuts. Just a little something for you.

Instead of listening to KMFDM when I went out I popped in the "Fountains of Wayne" eponymous debut disc into my MiniDiscman and went out to that. It's been a while since I've heard anything by them other than "Stacy's Mom" and I felt like some of the classics today. I did get to thinking about the fact that I never purchased the actual CD for myself on this one which made me feel bad for two reasons. First of all, I really like Fountains of Wayne and they're a band with a small fan base. Basically, they actually are hurt by people not purchasing their discs unlike fucking Dr. Dre, Metallica and Kid Rock. Secondly, the CD itself has one of my favorite album covers of all time. I mean seriously, I want a picture of me when I was little, dressed as a superhero (complete with underwear outside of my pants and a towel cape) and saving one of my stuffed animals. That's cool as hell (not hella-cool because people who say hella are sub-morons). If I could find a poster of this album cover I'd be pleased as punch. So yeah, my main point is that I need to pick up a copy of this disc.

That was somewhat long for being uninspired.

Also, I figured out how to change my posting name so I am now Elijah the Prophet. You see, I always thought that I should cut a techno album and that would be my DJ name. Now there's just that pesky point of having to learn to DJ.

You know what, I just explained the joke... fuck!

Ah, my new blog... finally. I've been bullshitting around for the past few months with all the people that I know who are already blogging. "Yeah guys, I'm gonna start my own blog sometime soon. Just watch me. No, really. Hey, where's everyone going?" Yup. That's about how it's gone. This might have something to do with the fact that most people who know me, know that I follow through on my ideas at the standard rate of 7% of the time. But that's about the same for all guys so fuck you for judging me.

Anyway, I'm now trying to decide what insightful, witty commentary to include in my first post, but really, I'm just drawing a blank. Fuck! Oh well, I'm going for a run, then maybe my thoughts will be more collected. Ok, probably not. Realistically, the only things that I'll be thinking after running are "KMFDM SUCKS" and goddamn my nut sweat stinks!

And how the hell do I post not as Elijah!?