Extreme Quality of Life Improvement

Well, I got DSL... Fuck this, I'm not talking to you people. I'm gonna go get me some porn.

Alright, I was out in downtown Denver tonight for St. Patrick's Day and I've got some shit to talk about:

First off, why the fuck does everyone love Britney Spears for the mere fact that she's Britney Spears (read: everyone fucking stupid). See, we're at this little bar/club tonight (I can't remember and I'm a racist asshole so they all look the same to me anyway) and my friend Karla, my wife and I are all having a good time dancing to the stuff they're playing. We're having a good time and the floor's only about half full so we've got some good dancing space. (I actually enjoy dancing, I don't really have any moves per say, but I can keep rhythm and, unlike most white guys, I know that the whole body has to be involved. Most of these rich, white, frat fucks think it's enough to bob the head and move the arms, meanwhile having their feet cemented to the floor. This is the opposite of that Riverdance shit where people are stone cold down to the ankles where they become a bubbling pot of Gaelic sex.)

Anyway, we're having a good time out there and out of nowhere that new fucking Britney song, Toxic pops on. Now I don't know if you people have heard thi piece of shit (I only know it because of Natalia's 'blog and because I caught the video one morning on the bootleg M2 that we get on local channel 55 as we have no cable) but the production work sounds like a cat being slaughtered on top of a muskrat such that the cat is put out of its misery as the muskrat is left alive and screaming at the end of the ordeal. If some of you didn't pick that up, I'm not a fan. Now I'm a fair judge... hell, I even liked the song Boys (featuring Pharell Williams) and I can admit that. (Though mostly the enjoyment of Boys has to do with the fact that it was Neptunes produced and the Neptunes could probably re-mix a fart and I'd enjoy it), But this new song, even the video sucks! Usually you get to see Britney looking good, but in this one she looks like shit for most of it, except for when she's in the mostly nude thing, but there's no tits or bush so what's the point.

So back to my rant... this fucking song comes on and, all of the sudden, the floor is packed... with stupid white girls that have no idea how to dress for their body type! It's a fucking travesty I tell you. Everyone gets up for a crappy song and does their crappy dance for a fucking name! Jesus P. Christ, the public sucks.

Ok, the other thing tonight. I was downtown and I looked across the stree to where Hooter's should have been... AND IT"S FUCKING GONE. Let me state that again so that the gravity is perceived...

THE HOOTER"S IN DOWNTOWN DENVER IS FUCKING DEAD!

Just like Julie Dwyer in the fucking pool. Well, now I really know how bad the economy in Colorado is. If a place in LoDo, based solely on the sale of sex and sports, closes down... we're fucT with a capital T. Now, I was never a big fan because, the Hooter's girls were stuck up bitches (I understand though, if I were in their position, I'd be a stuck up bitch too), but my wife, BLM and I went there every once in awhile because, we actually really like the wings there (despite the fact that two will kill you instantly).

So that's about all for now. I'm still a little buzzed so if there are any mistakes in this post, get off my back about it. Oh yeah, I think that I really need to start going out downtown every once in awhile because, there's really so much to bitch about down there.

So, Thanks to BLM I've found and begun reading Not Proud. Well I came across this rare little entry and felt the need to share it:

I cant be friends with women, all i think about is their mouth around my cock, i wanna do every girl, even ugly ones, i love fucking women, and i like fucking my friends, i wanna find a nympho

Now, I've never run into anything like this before and I'm only going by what I've heard in rumors, but I think this person's problem is, stay with me here, he's a guy.

So I was watching Kimmel tonight and David Cross was there. That was good. Truthfully, I don't really remem ber much of what they talked about besides Kathy Griffin talking about how pissed of she was that Jimmy Kimmel didn't go to her Christmas (?) party and how the last time David Cross was there he wore a green pimp coat (there was a really good picture to go with the story).

Anyway, I guess that Cross is in this Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind movie which sounds more interesting every time I see/hear/read something about it. I think that I'll probably go see it (despite the fact that, no matter how hard he tries, Jim Carrey will never win an Oscar... Good, Fuck Him!) as very few movies in the theater have intrigued me lately.

So the main point of this post is that also revealed during this interview was that David Cross has a new stand-up disc coming out in May which he described as picking up where the last (Shut Up you Fucking Baby) left off with more swearing. That's fucking great!

So this past weekend they were having a sale on various anime soundtracks at Media Play (I think that they still are) and I had a $15 Replay Certificate (i.e. they've gouged me for a fuckload of cash... enough so that they'll give me fifteen bucks for free... woo hoo) so I went out and picked up the FLCL soundtrack which was a damn good purchase. The majority of the album is by the Japanese group The Pillows. A group I can best describe as a Japanese '90s Brit/Garage Rock Band. I shit you not. When I first heard these guys, the overwhelming thought was "Dude, these guys are the Japanese Blur." In my opinion this is a damn good thing. I should qualify though, I'm talking Blur during the days of their eponymous release and 13, I wouldn't put these guys in Parklife and before territory (which is still damn good stuff, I'm not knocking it).

Anyway, a decent amount of stuff on this disc sounds like Blur and the not shitty Oasis stuff (some reminiscent of Definitely Maybe). Some of the highlights on this disc are Hybrid Rainbow during which, even not being able to speak Japanese, I can just feel the pain, lonliness and rejection belting out of vocalist Sawao Yamanaka's pipes; One Life which leads me to the Oasis comparison as it sounds like a Japanese Band covering an Oasis cover of a Beatles song written entirely in Japanese (which despite the round-about comparison makes for a great track); Ride On Shooting Star containing the line "Revenge no lobster hikitsurete" which apparently translates to "Accompanied by a lobster of revenge"; and the album closer Little Busters which encapsulates children growing up, the major theme of the series. There are also a slew of instrumntal tracks of which my favorites are Stalker and Stalker Goes to Babylon, which sound like something off of the Fight Club score, Beautiful Morning With You, which has a kick-ass change in tempo midway through, and Bran-new Lovesong which has a Super Furry Animals feel to it.

So yeah, overall, I highly recommend this soundtrack to anyone that likes '90s Brit/Garage Rock that they can't understand. It's been in my player most of the time since I got it on Saturday so that's saying something (not sure what). It also inspired me to re-watch the show, which I think is just a really good interpretation of the feelings that are involved in growing up, going through puberty, loss of innocence (read: virginity), a first failed relationship (and the rejection associated with it), and moving on with life. There are a lot of other things going on in the show (sibling rivalry, definitely) but these were the majors I got out of it. Also, I just love the overt sexual imagry... because I'm a pervert.

The lord hath risen!

So I dug out my TI-G.O.D (TI-92 a.k.a. big fucking calculator capable of world domination) today and ressurected it. You see, when we had last left our hero, a few AA batteries had been in ther too long and were dripping a little acid. At the time, I was in the middle of a move and had no/could not find any replacement batteries. So he was banished to the closet until further notice.

Anyway, today I popped it opened and replaced both sets of batteries and much like the mythical Jesus Fucking Christ, he was back in action, all weapons operational. It's a good thing too, because I'm a big dork and I sunk some money into this thing. BLM and I bought the upgrade TI-92 Plus Module when it came out and even got the connector cable so that we could download software for our savior from the internet.

Which brings me to the point of this post. I need to remember to ask BLM for the cable because I need to lower my self esteem and get some software. Besides, with the money I put into this thing, I know that there's got to be some software out ther so it will do my laundry.

You know what's fucking sad? I'm my own one-thousandth visitor. Fuck me to tears.

Welcome to the Springs, Fuck You!

Hey cool. How great is it that we get to relive the old days of separate but equal but in a hip, new, updated way? I mean, hatred and descrimination of blacks is so passe now anyway. New target: Queers. All right!

I mean seriously, how much bullshit is this. "Um yeah, we don't want them to be able to be legally married, but they can have all of those same rights if we call it something different." Fucking moron. Remember when words meant something. (Remember when using quotation marks meant that we were actually quoting someone real and not just some dipshit in our heads.) That aside, what the fuck is wrong with us?

It really does seem to hark back to segregation in the South. The main difference being, that back then the whites didn't what to have to even look at the blacks and the separate but equal policy achieved that. In addition, they could make the black facilities sub-standard. What is differentiating between "marriage" and "civil unions" even doing? Absolutely goddamn nothing... except distinguishing homosexual couples as second class. They get all of the rights, but can't be "married," that's reserved for this (non-sinner) class of citizens.

Jesus P. Christ I hate this place.

Well, I put in comments again. Problem is my e-mail address changed so I can't get all of my old comments back. So here's the deal. I expect that everyone who ever commented here will come back and re-enter their comments word for word. So c'mon people, do your part.

Seriously though, this film, "The Passion of the Christ" really bothers me. Now, before I go any further, I want to put it out there that no, I have not seen it. Because of that, I'm not going to criticize the film itself.

What I can criticize is the marketing of religion, which has bothered me for a damn long time. Now, I'm not religious at all. Truthfully, I think of myself as an apathist, I really just don't care. Sure, I wouldn't mind knowing more about the afterlife (if there is one), but it's not a central concern in my day to day life, because it doesn't need to be. The way I figure, I'm alive right now so I'll work on the whole life thing, I'll find out more about death someday... hey, I know, maybe when I'm dead.

This is one of the central things that bothers me about Christianity. According to it, I have to know that Jesus is my Savior to get into Camp Heaven, if not, I have to go to play with the other losers in Hell. And Hell doesn't have the fancy canoes with the nice paddles. All you get there is half inflated tire and a stick! Tangent. Anyway, I cannot honestly say (and frankly don't see how anyone else can) that without a shadow of a doubt, that some 2000 year old dead guy is getting me into the club. I mean, he didn't show up last week when I was stuck behind the velvet rope, how do I know he's showing up when I die.

Bottom line is, it's unfair. I can't come in because I'm not willing to concede a point that there are no facts to back up. That's bullshit. Especially with the fact that there's a bunch of evidence contrary to the rest of the contents of the bible, like dinosaurs and carbon dating. If scary father figure's test is that I have to kick dirt in the face of logic and say I believe in something with no grounds in reality, then scary father figure is a dick! It's an unfair test!

Which is why I don't believe in that God. I think that there's something greater out there, but I have no clue what. I've always liked the idea of something collective, which is funny now that I think about it, because I hate most of the other people sharing this rock with me... oh well, I bet the monkeys are cool. Saul Williams always struck a chord with me:

Never question who I am
God knows
And I know God personally,
In fact she let's me call her me

Anyway, now that I've deviated from my initial point entirely... marketing of religion. The epitome of this was when we were watching this religious network one night, and there was this kids Bible trivia game show on. One of the products marketed during the show was Jesus based sneakers (with something like "WWJD", or "Jesus is Lord" embriodered on the side) and they were like fifty bucks. What!? All I could think during the whole thing was, "If Christian theology is correct, everyone involved with this is going to hell."

I don't see much of a difference between that and the Mel Gibson flick. Granted, Mel did it as a labor of love, but the mere fact that he's making money off of it and allowing studio pieces of shit to rake in money off of it, bastardizes it. Period. To me, if Mel truely loves his religion, what he's done is no different than selling his soul.

I do have to say, at some point I do want to see the movie because I'm sure I'll have some criticisms about the content as well, but having not seen it, that's all I've got for now.

I like Kevin Smith (this is what he says about "Bob Christ's Passion"):

I can't compare it [to 'Dogma',] says Smith. "It looks like Mel Gibson's movie is going to be successful. He has the support of all the people who hated 'Dogma.' Bill Donahue of the Catholic League was so resoundingly adverse to our picture, whereas he's backing Mel on this one, going 'every good Catholic should see this film.'"

Smith emphasized during the interview that he's not seen the film yet, but was basing his opinions on where all the media's attention seemed to be focusing. "[Gibson's] way into fetishizing the death of Christ," says Smith. "I know it's important. It ain't Jesus unless he dies and comes back three days later. But I like my Jesus as the guy who says nice things and imparted very simple platitudes to still hold true today."

Smith also touched on the excessive violence of the film. "I'm not into the whole kind of like 'He died on the cross and he was butchered by the f***ing Romans and the Jews.' I don't know. That's kind of porn, isn't it? Porn for the religious right?"

Actually, February was pretty busy, hence, no posting. This may also have to do with the fact that I've been a slacker and don't seem to have the dedication to keep up with this. Part of the problem, I think, is that I really have to stop reading other 'blogs. There were a few days last month that I thought, "I'll sit here at my desk and eat lunch, catch up on some other peoples stuff and then maybe I'll 'blog some myself." As we all can see, that worked well.

The thing is, I have been trying to get back into writing on a regular basis ('blog or otherwise) and I do really enjoy it, I just need to make time for it. You see, a couple of months ago, my wife joined Wynette's writer's group, hoping that it would help her get back into the groove in terms of her poetry (and it has, she's getting back to where she's turning out some good stuff again that only needs minor work). Well, as I no longer work nights, and writer's group is held at our house, I seem to have de facto joined (am I using de facto in the right context, I think I am but... who gives a fuck). It reall started a couple of weeks ago when they were doing a writing exercise, I got home and some writing utensits were thrust upon me with the instructions, "Here. Write the fairy tale 'Rumplestiltskin" as you remember it." Of course I threw in a little bit of my own flavor, and what I got through in terms of the story line came out pretty decent. So now I have the urge to write more. Problem is, I have so much shit to do. Really, fucking off at work like I used to be able to do, is no longer an option. Today is a rare exception in that I actually have time to 'blog here at work. But most days, I'm playing the part of a real process engineer (novice, of course, but engineer nonetheless.

But even while working, these lines that I think would be good in a piece go through my head and I'm like, "Yeah, I've got to remember to use that one." The problem is I never do, which is why I need to get my own "Fuck Everything Journal." (BLM didn't ask for this plug, but his shit is cool so fucking get off your ass and buy some!) No , I seriously do need to start carrying around a notepad or something so that I can remember shit (when it comes to writing... I usually remember other things because I have my day planner).

So, in conclusion, this is kind of a weak post after such a long leave of absence, but if you don't like it, eat me.

February... Nothin'